William went with me to Baby Depot and we picked up some nursing pads, a baby carrier, and a little wall hanging/mobile that you put up on the wall above the changing table and it has a mirror that baby can stare up into.

Then we went to Darryl’s work, and we showed him off to everyone there. Everyone thought William was very cute (how couldn’t they? :-). He did have to be fed, though, and he had a very messy diaper that we changed right there in Darryl’s office. He was also straining with gas, which did detract somewhat from his cuteness. Then the three of us went to Wendy’s for lunch.

Afterwards, I dragged the little guy with me to Wal-Mart, to get a new kind of formula: Nestle Good Start with Cultures. Some people on pregnancy.org found it to relieve their babies of gas/fussiness, so we’re hoping this will give William less gas or at least alleviate his likelihood of being constipated.

William’s weight: We were very surprised to find out that William weighs 9 lbs, 8 oz!

Poor William: yesterday the little guy was constipated. I wanted to try using formula all day one day to see if he would have less gas (in case the breastmilk was giving him gas). I don’t think his gas situation was improved, but definitely he had a hard time with his bowel movements. The poor guy was struggling (painfully, it seemed—or at least very vocally) to push out his pooh. He pushed out a couple of tiny, hard nuggets. That, and the heavy straining, clued me in that he was probably constipated. So I went really gung-ho with the breastmilk, thawing out several bags that I’d had in the freezer. He pooped out a really hard, largish log-like turd that had some faint hints of blood in it, and then it was explosions of very soft, liquidy pooh. I felt so awful that I put William through this. So I am continuing to pump breastmilk for him twice a day. I guess the change was just too drastic for his system.

In other news, Grandma and Grampa left today at about 4 a.m. It was really nice having them here! I know they were absolutely thrilled to meet their first grandchild, and they really love William a lot. Thanks to Mom for taking care of William during the nights and for cleaning and working in the garden! We look forward to seeing you again soon in Canada!!

Over the past little while, William has started to grip things, not just fingers placed in his. For example, when you burp him, he’ll grip onto your clothing or hair or necklace! Sometimes it’s hard to make him let go! Or he’ll grab his hair or his ear, so I think he’s trying to learn what his hands do. Also, sometimes when I’m feeding him, if he’s really excited and hungry, he’ll put his little hands (in fists) up to the bottle as if holding it in place, to make sure you don’t let it go or take it away. It’s extremely cute!

He still likes to be held a lot and it seems to comfort him and help him deal with his gas. He still needs to burp a lot. He gets mad when you burp him during the early part of his feeding, because it takes him away from his food! Sometimes he will be very mad indeed, which is no fun at all at 3 a.m., to have a mad baby screaming in your ear when all you want to do is sleep. But as soon as you position him horizontally again, he calms right down, knowing that he will soon be fed again!! Sometimes when he’s draped over your shoulder, he’ll get impatient at not being fed and he’ll start sucking on his wrist/arm or on your clothing or skin. Right now he is eating anywhere from about 3-5 oz. per feeding, and feedings occur every 2 to 4 hours or so. We’re hoping he’ll start to sleep through the night better, so we can get more sleep. He does okay after the first feeding, but seems to get gas after the second feeding, and gets fidgety when in his pack & play, so we’ll have to hold him, sometimes for a long while.

I really love the little guy!

I didn’t really experience a lot of post-partum depression or baby blues. I was a little bit nervous about taking care of him, though that was mostly because when we took him from the hospital he had lost weight and wasn’t eating very well. So I was scared that he wouldn’t eat well or gain weight. Other than that and other little daily worries, I felt surprisingly confident about bringing this new little life home and being able to care for him and meet all his needs. I really surprised myself in that respect.

I only felt somewhat sad for the first couple of weeks about no longer being pregnant. I guess I’d been pregnant for so long that I’d gotten used to it, discomfort and all. What was it about being pregnant that I missed? When pregnant, I always had this little life with me, carrying him around, so it was like being in constant contact with someone; it was very intimate and only I was privy to his movements, etc. It was like having a wonderful little secret between me and my baby—a bond between us. He was just part of me. The other thing I missed was that, when pregnant, I got a lot of attention and smiles and felt very special. And now I was just “me” again.

Another thing that made me feel sad was that I just love William so much and (morbid me!) I know he will have to die some day and it almost breaks my heart that he has to be mortal or ever experience pain of any kind, etc. I would love to be able to keep him from having any bad thing every happen to him, but I know that he will have to fall down sometimes, so that he can learn how to get up and fend for himself and get stronger. It will just pain me when those learning experiences happen.

Darryl & I really love our little boy a lot! He’s changed so much since we brought him home: his head has gotten bigger, he’s opening his eyes really wide and looking at things (the ceiling fan spinning around, the blinds, his mobile), he’s doing a lot more stuff with his hands not in fists and although he doesn’t know how to use his fingers he seems a lot more dexterous now, his eyes will follow your fingers if you move them across his field of view, and he always looks at you when he’s being fed. I call him my munch-monster.
Sometimes William snores, which is very cute.

When William’s in our room and he’s being fed, or being burped, he likes to stare at this black & white poster of Greta Garbo that is hanging over my side of the bed, so I like to say that Greta Garbo is his girlfriend.

June 29 - July 8

Mom & Pap (Grandma & Grampa) arrived sometime around 10:30 p.m. on the 29th. We were already ready for bed and William was sleeping in his pack & play. Both grandparents came into our bedroom to peek in at the little guy and they were so excited and proud and happy and (I think?) overwhelmed to see him. But they didn’t want to disturb him, so left the visiting until the next day.

Mom took care of William during the night of the 30th, and thereafter every other night; we would move the pack & play into the guest room on these occasions. This was very gracious (and brave) of her, and allowed Darryl and me to get a luxurious full night’s sleep every other night. I know things went well, but I hope it didn’t tire her out too much. Especially as William often had bad gas for at least a couple of hours a night.

July 30 was the first day I noticed William grabbing onto people’s clothing (e.g. while feeding or burping). Also, when he’s very hungry, he gets quite agitated when you interrupt his feeding to try and burp him. Draped over your shoulder, he raises his head very well (had been doing so since Sandra & Jerry’s second visit) and sort of thrashes it from side to side while crying. Sometimes he hits me in the face with his head, and other times he moves around so much that he essentially squirms off of my shoulder altogether!

July 1: for the past little while, William has begun eating more so that by July 1, we have been making up 4 ounces of formula at a time instead of just 2 ounces (unless we suspect he is not very hungry). He is eating well and at a feeding will generally eat anywhere from 2 to 6 ounces. Happy Canada Day, William!

On July 2nd, we sort of ‘celebrated’ William’s 1-month birthday anniversary! Mom, Pap, William and I met Darryl at his work after work and we all drove to eat out at Ruby Tuesday’s. This was William’s first time in a restaurant. He did very well, though we had to feed him during our supper, Darryl & I taking turns eating. William weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz. today!

July 4: Happy Independence Day, William!

July 5 was William’s first visit to the pediatrician, and his 4-week check-up. Mom & Pap both went along too. We were somewhat late for our appointment since it took some effort to find the pediatrician’s office, but we got there (a very sterile-looking place). We brought William in to see Dr. Thorne. First, after being undressed, William got weighed and measured. On the scale there, wearing his diaper, William weighed 8 lbs, 15 oz. and he measured 21 and some-odd inches long. I didn’t catch his head circumference measurement.

Then Dr. Thorne came in and asked if I had any questions. I asked about William’s cradle cap, which the doctor said was perfectly normal and not a bad case at all, and that I could use lotion or Vaseline to improve the appearance but that there was nothing really that I could do to help it or make it go away faster; it would just disappear on its own eventually. I asked about the “lymph node things” on the back of William’s head; Dr. Thorne confirmed that they were in fact lymph nodes and therefore perfectly normal. I asked about the series of raised bumps on the left side of William’s neck, which had been there ever since he was born; Dr. Thorne said they were probably clogged sebaceous glands since they had little heads on them. I asked whether William was eating too much or gaining weight too rapidly; the doctor said emphatically “no” and that the more rolls of fat on a baby, the better! Dr. Thorne showed us a chart plotting weight and length versus age, and on it William fell just shy of average as far as weight goes, and on par with respect to length. I asked about formula, and the doctor said that Enfamil, which I’m using, is the best out there so there was no problem with that, or with the fact that I am only giving William 3 or so bottles of breastmilk a day. I asked about William’s gas and how he seems to always been so terribly uncomfortable or pained with it; Dr. Thorne said that that was normal and that we probably wouldn’t see an improvement till he was at least 2 months old and his digestive system started to mature. The doctor said we could give William Mylicon, but that in his professional opinion, it probably wouldn’t do anything since it was such benign stuff, but that we could give it to him if it made us feel better (indeed, we hadn’t noticed that Mylicon—simethicone—had any real effect at all).

The doctor asked if William was tracking with his eyes, and I said that he was, or at least that he seems to follow me if I move my head around while I’m feeding him. Dr. Thorne asked if William was smiling; I said he was, but that it appeared to be reflexive only, mostly in his sleep. The doctor said that probably within the next 2 weeks or so William should begin smiling socially. Then the doctor checked his ears and his mouth, and listened to his heart and his breathing (both sounded good and clear). Dr. Thorne checked to make sure William’s private parts were in order and that both testicles had descended (they had), and then he moved William’s legs around to make sure his hips were in their sockets. The doctor said that most babies cry when this is done, but William didn’t at all.

Then the nurse came in and did a heel stick to get some blood for another PKU test. Although William’s newborn PKU test showed everything normal, another one has to be done at one month of age just to make sure, I guess. William didn’t care for the heel stick too much, but he calmed down quite quickly. He did NOT calm down very quickly after the nurse gave him his second hepatitis shot (the first he got as a newborn). William’s face turned all red and he was overcome with such sadness/madness that his scream was silent. Then, after a bit, it became vocal and the poor guy was tearing up (oddly, he only had tears in his left eye), and it was so so heart-wrenching for me! I felt so awful and just tried to hold him and comfort him. Then we changed him, and fed him a little more, paid the copay, and made an appointment for Aug. 2 (when he will have to have 4 immunization shots!). All in all, his first doctor’s visit went pretty well.

Sometime during the week when Grandma & Grampa were here, William had another bath. I told my parents beforehand that he would scream (he had last bathtime), and so Mom wanted to videotape the experience. This time, though, William had a great time. Upon being put in the water, William decided to demonstrate a little fountain of his own, and thereafter he really seemed to enjoy his bath! I think it was probably because he was fed and happy and in one of his “awake & alert” times. He definitely made it a fun experience, so now we’ll no longer be dreading his bathtimes either!

William’s weight: 7 lbs, 6 oz. Daddy got to see the little man’s progress since he came home today!! William came with Sandra and me to pick up Daddy from the airport; I know Darryl missed William a lot and was really happy to see him again!

June 23 - June 28

Sandra & Jerry came and stayed with us, this time in our guest room, since Darryl had to go to Alaska for work. It was a huge help and Sandra taking care of William at times during the day and sometimes in the wee hours, really allowed me to catch up on some sleep.

June 25th, we put William into the vibrating seat and rattled the rattles and bounced the seat and tickled William’s tummy. He made little giggles/laughs of enjoyment: a big smile on his face and cute little “shrieks” of happiness. I thought this was the first time he’d done that, and was so excited to get it on video for Darryl, but upon seeing some video from a few days before, I saw that William had made those little noises before only I hadn’t recognized them for what they were. Even so, it was really really cute and it made me very happy to see him happy and excited. He is starting to have an “awake and alert” time every day now, which lasts about 0-2 hours once a day.

William’s weight: 7 lbs, 3 oz!

I had been worried about William not gaining weight, especially as his jaundice didn’t seem to me to be clearing up, so I ordered a scale online. It arrived today and so we eagerly weighed him: 7 lbs, 1 oz! After weighing William, we gave him his first real (non-sponge) bath which we videotaped for a bit. Boy, he sure didn’t like it at all! He cried the entire time and I felt horrible…

William’s umbilical cord stump fell off!

June 11 - June 13

I came down with a fever, with unknown origins. I would be, at turns, very hot or very cold and I was so tired, my legs feeling especially weak and sore. Darryl & I were both worried that William might come down with a fever too, but he fortunately did not. It was hard for me to nurse William at that time, though; I was so hot, and nursing was making William very hot too, which worried Darryl a bit.

Sometime in here, William’s circumcision finally healed and we no longer had to apply petroleum jelly to it.

We returned to the hospital to meet up with the lactation consultant, only she wasn’t there and her office was closed. So another nurse helped us and checked William’s jaundice levels. They were up a bit, but on the other hand, William’s weight was up to 6 lbs, 7 oz, so again the nurse was not worried. And again, I continued to worry!!

Sometime between the two visits to the lactation consultant was that I suggested Darryl apply the Vaseline to a piece of gauze and wrap up William’s penis instead of applying the Vaseline directly. Unfortunately, the gauze stuck to William’s penis and it took Darryl a bit to get it off—awful!! We felt SO bad!

A few days after being born, William started making little breathy laughs/giggles in his sleep (like “hee hee hee”), with his whole tummy shaking. Again, though, these seemed to be reflexive in nature.

June 5 - June 9

Sandra & Jerry came to stay with us and help us look after William and help with household chores. Actually, they drove down with their trailer and stayed in a campground in Shorter, spending the days with us. Darryl also had the week off work, so the three of us got a lot of time to begin bonding as a family. Nursing, though, was very time-consuming since William would eat a bit, sleep a bit, eat a little more, sleep some more, etc. A feeding could take an hour and a half or more, after which it was almost time to start feeding him again! So, we didn’t get much sleep (unfortunately, books had led me to believe that babies work in 3-hour cycles, during which you could actually get sleep while the baby slept. For some reason, I imagined they would feed more quickly).

June 7th, we had an appointment with the lactation consultant, just to make sure things were going well. I had noticed a bit of yellowing of William’s eyes and suspected he might have jaundice. The nurse used a little device and the measurement came back that, indeed, he did. She weighed him on the scale and he weighed 6 lbs, 3 oz. Because he had gained some weight (she said the hospital record showed he had weighed 6 lbs even upon leaving for home), Loretta wasn’t very worried about the jaundice. She said that as long as he was eating well (and based on the number of wet & dirty diapers he’d been having, it looked like he was eating well) and gaining weight, there was no need to worry. But, of course, I worried anyway. The nurse told us to come back on Sunday. We tried to nurse William in the office there, but he was just very unhappy, crying and fussy. Which may have been why he ate very well the rest of the day. Loretta suggested we keep William in indirect sunlight to help break up the bilirubin; some internet websites, though, seemed to indicate that that was not an effective treatment. Still, we tried to keep him in sunnier rooms.

Darryl went home for a bit in the morning to see to the cats, and William went up to the nursery to be circumcised, to get his PKU test and his Hepatitis B shot, to get checked for jaundice, to have his hearing tested, and maybe some other things I don’t know about or remember. I do remember that he seemed to be in the nursery FOREVER and I was starting to get worried because he hadn’t really been eating very much (i.e., very often) and he was gone already for 5 hours. I kept asking the nurses to tell me when he’d be able to be returned to my room, etc. but although they said they’d check, they didn’t get back to me. After what seemed to be an eternity, he was finally brought back to me and I was so indescribably happy!

A nurse came in and asked me if I had any questions about how to care for my baby once he was at home (it is hard to know what questions to ask when you’ve had no experience caring for a baby!). She went over (VERY briefly) some common care tips. Loretta, the nursing consultant with whom we’d taking the nursing intro class, came in and checked up on how William was nursing. His technique was very good, she said, and she advised that we try to keep him awake or actively wake him up so he could feed regularly. She again mentioned that we would be able to make sure he was eating enough by how many dirty diapers he had per day.

Darryl came back, and finally it was time to take William home!!! That was a bit daunting to think of and a bit scary since it is such a huge responsibility! Yet another nurse came in to get a bunch of paperwork filled out and ask some last-minute questions. She also took William to get his “Storkbytes” photo taken for the EAMC website. What a cute photo! William is even smiling in it (today was the first day William smiled, though they were only reflexive type smiles)! We put William in his car seat (how tiny he looks in it!) and drove home.

Some of the cats sniffed William upon his arrival home, but for the most part they ignored him entirely. I think they were more intent upon getting fed. Strangely enough, though I had felt hesitant about my abilities as a mother, once William was at home with us, I wasn’t really worried about being able to care for him. What did worry me, though, was whether he was going to eat enough! His weight on leaving the hospital was down to 6 lbs, 1 oz.

What all happened today is a bit of a blur. We tried to have William in the room with us as much as possible, and he was with us almost the whole day. Darryl went home briefly during the day, but spent the night of the 3rd at the hospital with me. William nursed very well when he was hungry, but since the lactation consultant had said he should eat for 20 minutes every 2-3 hours, I was getting a bit worried because William was so sleepy. It seemed like all he wanted to do was sleep! He really seemed to enjoy snuggling next to us and it was so nice holding William and watching his expressions; we spent hours doing just that!

Every so often nurses would come in to check me or to check William. Someone came in to give me hospital food (it was not awful). Getting out of bed, especially the whole toilet routine, was very tiring for me. It felt like my muscles were so weak and I got out of breath so easily. Dr. Smith (from Lee obstetrics) came to check on me and told me my iron was very low, so prescribed iron pills for me. This made sense since I was so pale and weak, and loss of blood (or low iron) may account for my initial nausea and faintness on the 2nd too.

On my tape recorder, I made a note of how William had hiccups twice and sneezed a couple of times, spit up and burped and passed gas, that he peed and pooped his diaper successfully, and that when Darryl changed him for the first time he peed! He moves his hands and can open his eyes and “look at stuff” (I don’t know how much he was able to see or focus at that point). “He’s very sweet. He’s extremely sweet. We love him very, very, very, VERY much! More than we could ever even describe.”

Well, it's really July 5th today and I haven't updated this blog in a longgg time. But then, I've been quite busy with a little William Walter! :-)

Here's how it happened on June 2, 2007:

Those cramp type contractions I mentioned in my last post as a pregnant woman were really the start of the REAL THING. They were pretty intermittent between 4 a.m. and 1 p.m., variable in strength and frequency (often 20 min. apart). I remember, I tried to fall back asleep after my first contraction, and I'd almost done so when another one hit. And I realized that I would not be able to fall asleep again. I remember distinctly thinking "I really should've appreciated getting a full 8 hours' sleep, because if this is the start of my labour, I may not get that chance again for several months!" Until about 1 p.m., my contractions really weren't all that bad. I didn't quite feel up to going to Hobby Lobby and running the other errands around town that I had planned for the weekend, but I was able to clean the house (which somehow seemed really important to get done before William was born).

Then around 1 p.m. the contractions got stronger and closer together (10 min.). Between 2 and 3 p.m. they'd started being about 4 min. apart quite regularly--I'd gotten Darryl to time them and keep track of them on paper--and I had to stop what I was doing to breathe through them.

I phoned the hospital and let them know the timing of my contractions, and so we left for the hospital (a 40 min. trip!) around 3:30 p.m. I brought my tape recorder along to record a bit of my experience of labour. I'm listening to it for the first time now... "It's 3:42 p.m. and I think William will be born maybe by 7. [laugh] That's wishful thinking I guess. No... I don't know but maybe he'll be born today on June 2nd, 2007. And I'm kind of scared because I don't know what's going to happen. And now I'm having a contraction and it hurts. It's hard to sit here comfortably in Darryl's car. [painful] Oh man. It makes my back hurt too." My contractions came closer and closer together during the drive and it was quite agonizing to sit there in the car. Darryl says he thought I would rip off the handle (above the door/window)! I definitely had to use all my concentration for breathing and I kept my eyes closed.

We got to the hospital and parked close by in the parking deck ("illegally" in the 55+ older parking spots), and I had to stop during my walk into the building so I could just breathe and get through the contractions. I was definitely getting a bit scared and I felt very self-conscious to have to stop and breathe every so often. We went up to the 3rd floor, only to find out we were supposed to go to the 2nd floor. So we did.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that Dr. Alverson was on-call that evening, because he was the obstetrician I'd seen the most and I was most comfortable with him. He and the nurse got me into an examination room and checked me out: I was 6-7 cm dilated.

Before the weekend, I'd made up a birth plan to carry with me to the hospital, and I'd decided on how I wanted my delivery experience to be, with music, etc. etc. I wanted as natural a childbirth as possible. However, when I got there, it was a bit hard to think clearly, but I definitely decided to get an epidural when they asked, because I was finding my contractions to be quite painful and I knew they would just get worse once my water broke. So they started a fluid IV drip with pitocin and a narcotic, Stadol, which made the contractions more bearable. I got changed into a hospital gown and then got moved into a labour & delivery room.

Because of the Stadol, things from my L&D experience remain a tiny bit fuzzy, but here is what I do remember: The nurse hooked me up to a monitor that had some belts fastened around my tummy. These measured the baby's heartbeat and also the strength of my contractions. Darryl went to the car to get our multitude of bags, then asked me if I wanted music (per my birth plan); I honestly didn't care but he put some on ("Chorus of Whales" CD). I remember hearing it a little bit and apologizing to the nurse that it would be sort of repetitive, but with everything else happening, the music really didn't register with my conscious. I remember I was also apologizing to the nurses for sort of crying out a bit or whimpering during my contractions. (I think these apologies were the effect of the Stadol, because that's how I would've acted under the influence of alcohol too). Darryl was feeding me ice chips (we'd brought Life Savers along, but somehow ice chips seemed like such a wonderful thing to have! They were perfect for the occasion). Darryl was also on my right, letting me hold his hand and squeeze it (tightly!!) during contractions. It was great to have that support there and also to have him breathing along with me (hee-hee-hoo). Although my entire self was absorbed in breathing to get through the contractions, one distinct thought I remember having was that I found it mildly annoying that Darryl would say "shee-shee-hoo" for the breathing, but I also recognized that it was dumb of me to be annoyed at that, so I didn't say anything to Darryl, because I knew he was being so supportive already, which I really really appreciated.

It didn't take too long and my contractions were getting very strong, almost continuous, and I couldn't help but start pushing. So the nurse decided to check my progress and I was already fully dilated. She pretty much said "Let's have this baby!!" and went to get the doctor. It was only about 5-10 minutes beyond that and a few pushes later and I heard William crying. He was born at 5:49 p.m. Darryl kept saying "We have a baby!". I was still contracting and the Stadol was making me a bit groggy (it took effort to keep my eyes open) so it was hard to believe all that was happening; that is, it took a little while to register. I saw William and he was still crying and he looked sort of grayish and wet, but overall very nice (not bloody or covered in vernix, etc.).

Darryl cut the umbilical cord, and the nurse must've wrapped William in a blanket. He quickly turned pink and then red and, after holding him proudly, Darryl put him on my chest for me to hold. It was a very special moment, but it was still so hard to believe that I had a baby!!! and that this was the little guy I'd been carrying around inside me for so long.

I held him for a bit and then the nurse took him to be weighed (6 lbs, 9 oz) and measured (19 3/4 inches) and checked out (I think he was crying the whole time). His feet got inked and footprints were made. Darryl took several photos. I asked Darryl to check if William looked healthy and normal (10 fingers, 10 toes, that sort of thing! The answer "yes"). Then he was put into a flannel receiving blanket with pink & blue stripes and he was wearing a little yellow sock hat, and he was brought back to me and I nursed him for the first time. William definitely knew exactly what to do and he was quite voracious for such a little guy! :-)

Unfortunately, having come so quickly, he tore me up pretty badly and the doctor had to stitch me up. Darryl estimates I had 20 stitches. I didn't really feel the stitching and I was in a very euphoric mood at the time, joking with the doctor and nurses, etc. Apparently, William had managed to tie his umbilical cord in a knot in utero (!!!), though that didn't affect him negatively, and Darryl said that William peed on Dr. Alverson upon delivery. One thing is that my water didn't break and the doctor had to break it a few seconds before William was actually born. This was probably fortunate, because it means that my contractions weren't as bad as they could've been.

All in all, my labour experience was pretty good! It didn't last very long and it wasn't very overly painful. And, of course, everything was soooo worth it, because now we are the very proud parents of a beautiful and wonderful baby boy. William Walter is the most perfect little guy, and we are so very blessed to have him with us.

The first photos of us with our son!
Then, after a period of time (I don’t know how long), the nurses took William to go to the nursery so he could have a proper bath and get cleaned, etc. Before transferring me to a post-partum room, the nurse wanted me to try and go to the bathroom. I hadn’t had much to drink that day, and certainly not very much at all since having stronger contractions, so I didn’t think I would be able to go (really, though, the IV fluids would have made their way through my system by then). Plus I was worried about the stitches. I spent a couple minutes sitting on the toilet, the nurse calling in to me periodically. All of a sudden I started feeling hot and nauseous, and I called out to the nurse that I thought I was going to throw up. She came in and put a garbage can near me and the next thing I knew, she and Darryl were calling my name and I was coming out of a black fog. Turns out I had fainted. The nurses carefully transferred me to a gurney and I was taken to a post-partum room. The nurse thought that perhaps I’d gotten nauseous and fainted because the pain meds in the IV were given to me on an empty stomach.

I was still feeling very light-headed when getting out of bed in the post-partum room, so I had to call a nurse whenever I wanted to get up (which was just to go to the bathroom; just going took a lot of energy!!). The nurse asked if I was hungry, and I kind of was, so she got me some crackers, but after eating one, I started feeling nauseous again. All those treats and snacks we’d brought with us from home sat untouched… (and right after the delivery I'd been so very hungry!!)

We had William in the room with us for a little while and he nursed some, but ultimately we asked the nurses to bring him to the nursery, so that I could get some sleep since Darryl would go home that night, to take care of the cats and get some things done. Also, he took home the little yellow cap so the cats could sniff it and start getting used to William’s smell. He said that Gizmo was interested in smelling it, but that the other cats really didn’t seem to care at all about it. As it turns out, I didn’t get very much sleep since the nurses came in every ½ hour to 2 hours, checking blood pressure, etc.

I woke up an hour or so ago, at around 4 a.m., with a strongish menstrual-cramp type pain. I'd been having some "low-grade" cramping the whole day, but sometimes that can be gas in disguise. I figured this night-time cramp was an anomaly, so I went to the washroom and climbed back into bed. Just as I was ready to fall asleep, along came another one.

I've had 5 of these in the past hour. They last about 5-15 seconds or so and they're not very frequent, but they are really quite uncomfortable. My gut reaction is to stop breathing and tense up my body against the pain (this is certainly not helpful or recommendable). Because these are so different from the Braxton-Hicks contractions (painless!) I have experience so far, I'm thinking this is the start of labour...

I don't know if that means that William will be born soon or even today, but definitely things seem to be progressing. I can't get back to sleep, so I took a tylenol, ate some cereal and am now trying to distract myself. If these cramps subside, then I will take a nap later on today, though maybe I'll hold off on the shopping (we were going to go shop for posters/pictures to hang on the wall in the nursery)....

One thing that these contractions make me aware of is that I doubt I will refuse an epidural when the time comes! I guess I'm a woos after all!! :-)

I'll keep y'all posted.

I had my 38-week appointment yesterday and it went quite well. I saw a doctor whom I saw only once before; last time, I somehow left with the impression that he was stand-offish. This time, though, I found him to be very gentle and encouraging. Ah, perception!

Stats:
- my blood pressure: 126/77
- weight gain since last week: +2 lbs. (sigh)
- William's heart rate: 147 bpm
- dilation: steady at 3-3.5 cm
- effacement: wasn't told, but presumably has remained the same

After measuring my belly, the doctor said that William was not going to be a huge baby: he would not be bigger than normal. This is the same thing I was told 2 appointments ago, and while belly measurements are not exactly accurate predictors for a baby's size, I tend to believe that William will not be over 8 lbs. I do think he will be long, though, taking after his dad. :-)

This doctor was a bit surprised, too, about my stats (he thought the doctor from last week might have exaggerated the numbers a bit). Apparently to be this far along prior to labour is unusual in a first pregnancy. The doctor said that when I go into labour, it will not be false labour--it'll be the real thing, and he didn't think I would go all the way to my due date.

So, I'm still playing the waiting game.... However, I've got my mind set now on the due date, rather than sometime earlier. The house is getting messier again and there are some things I'm aiming to do on the weekend. However, today will be my last day at work for 3 months!!! It's a little hard to believe (maybe I am a little sad?), and there are a lot of things I need to get done at work too!

As much as I'd been hoping he would, William did not arrive on the weekend! He's still comfortably (for him) lodged somewhere between my ribs and my pelvis.

I took Friday off and Monday was Memorial Day, so I had a very long weekend. Originally, I was supposed to rest and relax on Friday, but I wound up cleaning and doing miscellaneous chores on my feet the whole day. I did manage to get William's scrapbook pages done--that was very exciting! However, being up and about so much seemed to give me a permanent Braxton-Hicks contraction and my tummy was tight the whole day.

Same thing on Saturday morning, as we did some final cleanup for a brief visit from Mike & Carey & Matthew. Matthew is about 7 months old and is such a very happy baby! He's adorable and you can tell that once he's able to crawl, he will take off and start getting into everything. Right now, he's able to wiggle around on his stomach and likes to play with his toys. Hopefully William will be a happy and pleasant baby too, in which case it will be a real pleasure to interact and play with him.

The rest of the weekend was almost excessively relaxing: Darryl & I just lay on the bed, reading. Having been sort of "go go go" for so many weeks and weekends, trying to get everything ready and cleaned up, it was a bit of a shock to have virtually nothing to do!

I must admit to having been somewhat mopey and complainy over the weekend, though. My abdomen was quite uncomfortable and I guess I have heartburn despite the Zantac. Darryl takes all of this in stride, though, and he is being very helpful around the house. Today at work I felt quite uncomfortable and heartburny as well: I decided that Friday (June 1) will be my last day at work, pending what the doctor says at my appointment on Thursday--if I have made no progress and it seems like William will take forever to arrive, then I may consider working another week. It would be awful to sit around for 3 weeks at home if William decides to be 2 weeks late.

But now I'm in week 38--can you believe it!? I am so anxiously awaiting William's arrival. I don't know how I'll feel when he's actually born or what I will do (I feel like I won't know what to do), but I really want to see him and, also, I am ready to try and regain some kind of control over my body again. I know I should appreciate this last little bit of time that Darryl & I have together, just the two of us--the ability to do pretty much whatever we want, whenever we want without worrying about a little being, but I find I'm just so impatient! :-) I think it's mostly because people on the pregnancy.org bulletin board who are also due in June have begun having their children, and so that makes me think that William could/should arrive anytime. Whereas, if I were not on that board, I would have expected William closer to his due date and perhaps not had as much crazy anticipation as I do now. My whole weekend (since I was convinced, somehow, that he would be born on the weekend) was spent thinking every moment "when will my water break?", "will it break now?", "is he going to arrive today?", "when are my contractions going to start?" :-) This is probably very silly, I know. The waiting is the hardest thing, to me.

I'm trying to be less anticipatory now. I have to really realize that William is not going to be born until he is ready to be born, and that could be any time within the next 3.5 weeks or so. The time will fly by, regardless of how many or how few days it still takes, and I will simply have to try and enjoy the time I have now to get some things done around the house or yard that I might not otherwise get done. William: we love you!!!!

Week 38

"Your baby has really fattened up. He likely weighs between 6 and 7 1/2 pounds now, and is between 19 and 20 inches long. He has a firm grasp, which you'll soon feel when he wraps his little hand around your pinky. His organs are fully developed and in place, but his lungs and brain will continue to mature right through childhood Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? If he's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If he's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time he's 9 months old."

-- from: www.babycenter.com

I just got back from my 37-week appointment at the doctor's.

Here are my stats for this week:
- blood pressure: 113/72
- weight gain since last week: 0 lbs.
- William's heart rate: 137 bpm
- dilation: 3-3.5 cm
- effaced: 90%
- test for Group B Strep: negative

The doctor was pretty impressed, and I think surprised, by the progress from last week to this week. He said the baby's head is very low. Although I could really stay at this level of dilation and effacement for weeks yet, I think William is getting ready to arrive within the next week. At the end of the appointment, the doctor said "See you next week, if we don't see you before then!" (That's not why I think William will arrive early.... I'm really just hoping that we will see William soon :-).

Here are some photos from me at 36 and now at 37.5 weeks:

36 weeks                            37.5 weeks

And some photos of our nursery (sort of set up):

(click on the photos for enlarged versions)